As I write this the S&P 500 had ended the day’s trading with a 12% decline. That’s the second greatest one-day loss in its history, and we are sure to hear all about it in the media. We will also be told that the S&P 500 is in “bear market” territory, the term used to refer to a loss of more than 20% from the index’s previous high. And as we have learned over the past couple of weeks, that’s worse than a “market correction,” which is considered to be a drop of only 10%. I have not been able to identify the provenance of these terms, but they seem to resonate well with the media since they are being used so ubiquitously.

In the interest of injecting some levity in the midst of a period of deep investor fear, I thought I’d come up with a few more terms that we can use to indicate various other market declines more colorfully than raw numbers do.

-10%: Market Correction
-20%: Bear Market
-30%: Market Tsunami
-40%: Tasmanian Devil Market
-50%: Market Bloodbath
-60%: Tyrannosaurus Market
-70%: Market Apocalypse
-80%: Zombie Market

Let’s also not forget market gains. There ought to be some terms we can use besides the well-worn expression “bull market.”

+10%: Market Advancement
+20%: Bull Market
+30%: Market Exultation
+40%: Elephant Market
+50%: Market Triumph
+60%: Blue Whale Market
+70%: Market Bliss
+80%: Biggest & Most Powerful Animal Ever Market

So there you have it. We may be approaching a market tsunami at the moment but I’m confident that over the longer term a market triumph will be in the cards. Stay tuned.